Character assasination

near where I work is the friday market, it's a good place to get a sausage egg soda and is frequently described as being "full of characters" which often means mutants, uglies, alcoholics and incontinent oldies

As I was approaching the market today, there was this one lady in an electric wheelchair (not a fatty scooter, a wheelchair) she was like Jabba the hutt in tartan, burbling her way down the road. She reached a point in the road with cars parked on either side and stopped to eat from the bag of chips on her lap, maybe they were on her bosom it was hard to tell.
While she filled her maw with fried potato products, traffic queued up behind her. There was a small van right behind with two slightly perplexed chaps, one seemed to be saying "beep the horn, tell her to get the fuck out of the way" and the other was perhaps retorting "but she's a special! I can't toot a special" after a bit the lady finished her chips and burbled on, allowing the traffic to pass

She's my new role-model