Not Top Chop

NEVER EVER get your haircut by a fucking bald man, what the fuck do they know about hair?
how does "get rid of this thick mess around here but leave it long around here" (accompanied with all appropriate hand gestures) translate into "please make me look like I've just been assaulted by a crackhead with a pair of pink plastic scissors"
this is the main reason I went to a hairdresser who had english as their native language
I aslo decided to go a bit upmarket to one of the fancier looking places so I wouldn't get some half stoned mong who has deigned to divert his attention from his xbox for just long enough to shave one side of your head half the length of the other side

yes I know you're supposed to keep an eye on what he's doing but he did the back and the sides alright and then he was standing in front of the mirror and tilting my head and before I realised what the fuckwit was doing it was too late

seriously I haven't been this upset about a haircut since the time I was 10 and my mum cut the top of my ear off or maybe the time I had a haircut that made me get included with the girls in the school photo

I think I'm going to have to have a cry