Friday, 26 October 2007

Finally, something music related

Today we're looking at a the latest in portable MP3 doodads from Bang & Olufsen
First things first, it looks like crap. Maybe you can't quite appreciate just how crappy it looks, but take a gander at this pic here. I mean who the fuck designed this? Soviet housing block architechts that have been in a gulag since 1962 in conjunction with Ando Yatsimuta, the designer of the original sony walkman who had a rollerbooting accident on the launch day and was in a coma until this spring?
Secondly, it only does MP3, fair enough I don't watch much TV while I'm cycling but still, no video, no radio, no text files MEH!
but before we get too hooked up on preconceptions, lets have a look at what the the beosound (say it aloud, B-O Sound, doesn't sound so good) does have to offer

"it is not made in plastic, but polished steel"
so it's heavy then? just what I need in a portable music device that I carry in my pocket, a bit of extra weight

"But for all their virtues, discs are not a practical way to take your music with you. BeoSound 6 is both simple to use and easy to fill up with all your favourites using BO dopey software"
Really? and I thought I looked stylish with this wheelbarrow full of vinyl, fuck me and call me edgar, I'm converted.
How much music does this thing hold anyway, let's see, 4gig? well not a huge amount but it should be pretty cheap, let's have a look at the price, £400 quid
that's right

Fucking what? you can get a brand new 8gig ipod nano for a quarter of that and and 80gig video ipod for less than half price of this piece of tat.
Fucking hell, what do you get? surely there must be some redeeming qualities

"If you find yourself in adverse conditions like an ocean squall or a New York subway car, you will appreciate the grip of the soft-coated back"

So you're on the deck of your fucking yacht being tossed about by a storm or in the fucking SUBWAY in fucking NEW YORK and you're holding this paperweight in your hand where it shouts STEAL ME STEAL ME or I WANT TO GO SWIM instead of tucked away inside your fucking pocket

mind you, if you're the kind of wanker that pays 400 quid for an ipod knock off then you're probably the kind of wanker that doesn't have the brains god gave a left handed screwdriver
I mean, look at this guy over here=====>
Doesn't he look just a bit too smug to be allowed to integrate with normal society?

I'd call him a twat, but it's offensive to ladies and other female people

"The sturdy construction is thoroughly tested to survive accidental drops, scratches from the things that live in handbags, freezing cold, searing heat and the sweaty palms of your jealous friends."
Well, that's a plus point I suppose (if you have any friends), but for my money (and yours) I'd reccomend something like this bad boy here. It's 4gig for £40 a tenth of the price of the BO, it does music, video, text, has a radio somewhere, lightweight, doesn't need any dopey fucking proprietry software and as for versatility, mine survived a trip through a FUCKING WASHING MACHINE, put your fucking BO in the wash and see how long that shit lasts

So my final rating of the B&O Beosound6 is a healthy FUCK OFF out of ten

Thursday, 25 October 2007

If you write out all the highlighted letters in this post and re-arrange them, you can find a special secret message, answer at the bottom of the post

I was considering actually telling people that I have a blog so that I might actually get some comments on my post, but then I decided "Why spoil it?"

Anyway I had a bloke on the phone, lets call him A. A wanted to speak to engineer on case ###, so I looked up the case, there was no engineer, very odd as this was a high priority case, so I called the appropriate team (V) I spoke to M who informed me of the special secret rule which said that this case actually had to go to team E, I checked the special secret tool and it said the same. Never heard of team E but I give them a call, this routes me through to a switchboard who know fuck all about anything, so I call the team leads for team E, let's say K and L, they're not answering the phone or IM, so I call M in team V and ask if they can take care of this for now as it's the tech they can handle and A needs to speak to somone urgently. M takes the case but A drops off the line, M says he'll call him. a few minutes later M contacts me and asks me to contact the special secret manager for the special secret team, who the fuck is that? I ask, as I have no info on special secret managers. M tells me it's C. So I call C and he's a bit put out as he doesn't become special secret manager until next week and he's never heard of special secret team E, but he makes a few calls and manages to find out that the team leads for team E are off today so he asks me to send the case back to M in team V and he'll chase up special secret team E and get them to pick it up when they get back from their table football. So I call M and he takes the case.
Now because this has taken best part of an hour for an urgent case, I tell my manager about it and write it up so it can be escalated to his manager and so on. The special secret manager C has got hold of it and is doing some shouting about it and no doubt M has raised the issue with his manager, and then I get an email.
This email is from K, the team lead of the special secret team, the team lead who is supposedly off today. It's not addressed to me, I've just been CC'd in, it's addressed to A.
A who called an hour ago to urgently speak to the engineer handling this case.
Guess what?
A is the motherfucker that is supposed to be handling this fucking case.

ǝɹʇuǝɔ llɐɔ ƃuıʞɔnɟ ɐ uı ʞɹoʍ ɹǝʌǝu :ɹǝʍsuɐ

Friday, 12 October 2007


1 Take some of the randomly generated content from spam
2 Use babelfish to translate into japanese and back again
3 ?????????????

After this October you cannot know the next announcement glance which looks at that hugely.
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or this slightly more frantic piece, might go well with a bit of scat

Warning: The next adult announcement glance which looks at that slower explanatory Thursday was dinner of Saturday thing.

Interval of the cell of explosion sound is not opened.

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Perhaps for explaining the portable telephone of the beverage of work.
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It is possible, this December is lacking.

Without the stand of thought of thing the July 3rd mine which becomes it is possible.

Thursday, 11 October 2007

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Tuesday, 9 October 2007

And so it begins

the first in a long series of pointless meandering things that fall out of my head

There's a lady in the office, wearing a frankly bizzare outfit.
It's a frock, or a dress if you will, it has a kind of dark flowerish print on a black background, it's got what I believe is called a scoop neck with a low neckline at the back, it's got puffy sleeves, but the strangest thing is that she appears to be wearing a thin white polo neck below it.
She looks like she's been told to put on warm underwear and neglected to adjust what goes on top, like maybe an alien that's learnt about wearing human clothes from a book. Or maybe she's had a childs mind swapped with her own like judge reihnhold in vice versa.
Now that I think about it she did look somewhat out of sorts when she arrived, like she didn't quite recognise the place or know what she was doing.

Mind you a lot of people around here look like that