Today we're looking at a the latest in portable MP3 doodads from Bang & Olufsen
First things first, it looks like crap. Maybe you can't quite appreciate just how crappy it looks, but take a gander at this pic here. I mean who the fuck designed this? Soviet housing block architechts that have been in a gulag since 1962 in conjunction with Ando Yatsimuta, the designer of the original sony walkman who had a rollerbooting accident on the launch day and was in a coma until this spring?
Secondly, it only does MP3, fair enough I don't watch much TV while I'm cycling but still, no video, no radio, no text files MEH!
but before we get too hooked up on preconceptions, lets have a look at what the the beosound (say it aloud, B-O Sound, doesn't sound so good) does have to offer
"it is not made in plastic, but polished steel"
so it's heavy then? just what I need in a portable music device that I carry in my pocket, a bit of extra weight
"But for all their virtues, discs are not a practical way to take your music with you. BeoSound 6 is both simple to use and easy to fill up with all your favourites using BO dopey software"
Really? and I thought I looked stylish with this wheelbarrow full of vinyl, fuck me and call me edgar, I'm converted.
How much music does this thing hold anyway, let's see, 4gig? well not a huge amount but it should be pretty cheap, let's have a look at the price, £400 quid
Fucking what? you can get a brand new 8gig ipod nano for a quarter of that and and 80gig video ipod for less than half price of this piece of tat.
Fucking hell, what do you get? surely there must be some redeeming qualities
"If you find yourself in adverse conditions like an ocean squall or a New York subway car, you will appreciate the grip of the soft-coated back"
So you're on the deck of your fucking yacht being tossed about by a storm or in the fucking SUBWAY in fucking NEW YORK and you're holding this paperweight in your hand where it shouts STEAL ME STEAL ME or I WANT TO GO SWIM instead of tucked away inside your fucking pocket
mind you, if you're the kind of wanker that pays 400 quid for an ipod knock off then you're probably the kind of wanker that doesn't have the brains god gave a left handed screwdriver
I mean, look at this guy over here=====>
Doesn't he look just a bit too smug to be allowed to integrate with normal society?
I'd call him a twat, but it's offensive to ladies and other female people
"The sturdy construction is thoroughly tested to survive accidental drops, scratches from the things that live in handbags, freezing cold, searing heat and the sweaty palms of your jealous friends."
Well, that's a plus point I suppose (if you have any friends), but for my money (and yours) I'd reccomend something like this bad boy here. It's 4gig for £40 a tenth of the price of the BO, it does music, video, text, has a radio somewhere, lightweight, doesn't need any dopey fucking proprietry software and as for versatility, mine survived a trip through a FUCKING WASHING MACHINE, put your fucking BO in the wash and see how long that shit lasts
So my final rating of the B&O Beosound6 is a healthy FUCK OFF out of ten