Monday, 17 September 2007

A cavalcade of morons

I've been trying for a while to get a proper tech job as opposed to a phone monkey one, I've just found a company that employees special needs children in their tech support so I'll apply there
well, whoever sent me this email must have some special requirements

From: Mongo the mongolian mongoloid
Subject: nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

I have a piece of paper with numbers on it, it has two numbers. The first number is not the right number, it does not work. What number should I use?
me want potty

well, alright, it's slightly abridged but it still contains the essential essence of the issue.
That's how I started the day, then just after lunch I got this genius

"Hello, I'm trying to register this thing and I've followed the instructions but now the website is asking me for a username and password"
{somewhat posh sounding english chap, sounds like he's about to cry for his mummy}

ME - "well do you have a username and password for this website?"
{I'm being polite even though the mere sound of his voice is enough to make me want to slap him and tell him to go change his own fucking nappie}

{whaddya want? A biscuit}

ME - "Well, have you tried to enter that username and password?"
{well of course he has, only a moron would phone for permission first}

"no, the instructions don't mention that"
{this sort of person is the reason coffee cups have "contents may be hot" on the side}

ME - "Well, why don't you try it now then?"
{I'd accept "I'm sorry I have no arms as a valid excuse}

"Oh, I've forgotten my password, should I create a new account then?"
{would you buy a new car if it ran out of petrol? Well you might, I daresay you've worn the same pair of y-fronts since mumsy went swimming and lost the note that said "Keep head above water and breathe"}

and then I ended the day with delightful conumdrum

.. "Hello, I can't log in to my account"
ME - "What's the problem?"
.. "I'm using somebody elses' username"
ME - "have you tried using your own username?"
.. "Do you think that's the problem?"
ME - "I'd say it's quite likely"

Wouldn't be so bad if it hadn't taken TEN FUCKING MINUTES to work this out as the little fucker outright LIED every time I asked him a fucking question

These people are not anybodys role model


Cookham-Chillies said...

Working at various levels of Tech support over the past 8 years I have learnt one thing that has stood me in good stead...

The customer is always a lying ignorant cunt....

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